Revelation 12:11
The question recently presented to me, "What moments in your life define your faith?" stirred answers from within, but only after much thought. A comparison was made to the Apostle Paul, but that intimidated me. I thought, "Gee, I'm no Paul, I've not much to tell." Upon further rumination, I DO have much to tell! If I did not, I would be denying the power of my Savior.
Every tree has roots. Blessed by Christian parents who practiced their faith, we went to church regularly, had daily devotions after supper and prayers at bedtime. My mother would tuck me in every night, the wool blanket from the cedar chest with its woodsy smell combined with my mother's kisses secured me against all evils. She would frequently ask me, "Do you know Jesus loves you? Do you trust him as your Savior?" Always, an affirmative nod brought a happy smile and a toasty hug.
I always knew God was real, largely because my folks used Scriptures to guide their family, giving God credit for everything. When I was in grade school, we were at a park in Akron when I suddenly experienced anaphylactic shock from a bee sting. Hives, delirium and nausea quickly created the need for medical intervention, but where was the hospital? Who would help? A ranger came along at just that moment, immediately guiding us to the help I needed.
Again, divine intervention rescued me when I became lost during a family vacation out West. Thinking my family was right behind me, the solitude that soon proved otherwise was devastating to me. Scared and tired, I had walked for miles, crying and praying, but I was never alone. With dusk approaching, a helicopter was being prepared for dispatch, but God sent one last couple along the path who bore the kindness of angels to me.
Childlike faith has a way of taking a back seat when the teenage years arrive. For some reason, all that was precious became cause for embarrassment when friends were around. It hurt deeply to now act ashamed of Jesus (I know how Peter must have felt when Jesus looked at him following his denial), but I felt Jesus would give me time and understanding while individualism beckoned me. ("Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.")
When I was 16, I went on a youth group outing in Pennsylvania called "Jesus '77". After music and preaching, a sea of teenagers were praying in small groups across a field. There was a young man whose leg was in a cast, from hip to toe. A group was fervently praying for his healing, when suddenly he fell to the ground, the cast bearing a split from top to bottom. Kids began to peel it off in a frenzy of praise and glory to God! Never before had I felt so palpably the power of the Spirit.
I'd relish saying that I came home with the faith of Paul after he trod the Damascus road, but I had a lot to learn first.
Being a young bride, far from home in a troubled marriage propelled me to fully rely on God as I sought God's word with hunger, especially consuming the Psalms. For the first time, I read the Bible on my own, discovering such gems as the eighth chapter of Romans. God answered me directly and I was a rapt listener.
Several brushes with disaster assailed me during my residence in Texas, but one happenstance was undoubtedly miraculous. Driving along a four lane road, without preamble, cars piled up before me, closing off all avenues of escape. I shut my eyes, bracing myself for impact, but God brought me safely to the other side of the collision without a scratch. How and why, I do not know, but I credit Him with saving me once more.
God's strength is made perfect when we are at our weakest, and I had a smorgasbord of weak moments ahead such as divorce, bankruptcy and single parenthood. The love and trust rejected by my husband were channeled into God and family as I moved back to my childhood home, an emotionally crippled young woman.
One thing I learned: never stand in judgment of another, thinking I would never behave like that, because Satan can and will coerce a Christian into doing most anything, especially during weak moments. For years, my personal journey took me into places of bleak sin. I berated myself, thinking I was unworthy of the love of Christ, but the Bible says, "There is now therefore no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus". The story of Jesus' compassion toward the adulterous woman became my personal song ("Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.")
Faith ebbs and flows. The tide is high and flowing freely when I stay close to God through prayer and Bible study, but an arid land replaces all when I shut the Good Book. Sometimes, it is most difficult to believe in Someone I cannot see; other times, it's as natural as the air I breathe. The summation of faith for me can be found in this poem by an author unknown to me:
What God Hath Promised
God hath not promised
Skies of blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through.
God hath not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love.
I wish to encourage other Christians not to shy away from sharing your testimony. Everyone has a story to tell. By keeping silent, we give the devil a foothold. The blood of the Lamb is a powerful thing so add fuel to that fire by bragging about the things Jesus has done for you. Only God can make a message out of a mess.
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