The Secret of Marriage

 "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen!" - Jesus, as spoken to the church of Ephesus (Revelation 2: 4, 5)

    What's the secret to a long, happy marriage? I plan to ask these lifelong friends of mine who are celebrating their 70th wedding anniversary this weekend.  Many marriages I know have had their problems with frostiness, separations, indifference, infidelity and sometimes divorce. If a union is not given priority, it's like falling asleep on an inflatable raft in the lake. You bob along in relative comfort until you open your eyes and realize you're miles from the shore. How do two people who love each other end up like this?

    When I think back to the beginning of my marriage with Dave, we could talk on the phone for three hours, we wrote letters of declaration to mail across the county, a folded love note was tucked beneath the windshield wiper or we'd hide a small gift to be found with a smile. There was an anticipation, a desire to please as we got to know each other.

    The imagery of the church as the bride of Christ portrays the love of our beautiful Savior. He has betrothed us to Him before going to prepare our mansion in heaven, and has promised to return to take us to be with Him. He has paid the bride price with His own blood and given us the precious raiment of righteousness, calling us to faithfully anticipate His return. If we find ourselves far from His side, who moved? Can't be Him; He's immutable. What can be done when we've drifted?

    The answer may be found in Ephesians 5:10: "And find out what pleases the Lord." To do that, I must become more and more like Jesus every day. Would Jesus have a critical heart? Would He wile away a few hours watching R-rated movies? Have I expressed how much I love Him through praise and worship? Do I talk to Him? Is His love letter to me sitting unopened on the table as I read works of fiction? Have I become a hag by complaining about what I don't have instead of thanking Him for what I do have? Selflessness, communication and dedication are necessary components of a happy union. There's no secret in that.

"As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you." Isaiah 62:5